IWANTTOGOHOMENOW.

life has been surprisingly better. i've become more productive & done more with my life this past month, than in the past year. im pretty happy.

my new apartment is great. i no longer feel like a bum. living with my parents. i have to do everything on my own. but it's nice. im working 7 days a week. so i can have extra money. im living pretty comfortably.

i'm looking for a new car, but there isn't anything that ive seen that i can't live without. my car is ready to die though. its been leaking anti-freeze. im not trying to deal with that. ive had several guy friends look at it & they cant figure it out. so im not wasting my money on it.

i'm so full of knowledge now, i read constantly, do something productive with my free time. melissa and i went to barnes and knobel yesterday. i picked up 3 photography books. you can never know too much of something you love. i've been taking so many pictures & getting so many comments on my work. ive heard that im progressing into a talented artist. that makes me happy that someone else thinks that about me. i love having bands & people ask me to do photos for them. i think i found my secret ability/art. dont get me wrong, i still paint and draw, but im so wrapped up in photography. its great. bryant gave me an old camera he found in his attic. its a minolta xg-m. a 35mm. with an after market zoom lense. it works! i am so excited to use it. i just need a good oppertunity....

ive made so many new friends since bryant i broke up. alot of people i stopped talking to came around again and we mended things. its nice. im back to where i was. i discovered who my friends are, and who are the ones that just hung out with me b/c of who i dated. my true friends told me that they'd support me in whatever i do. its nice to have people who care & back me up in my decisions. even if it is to start again with bryant.

things could better i guess, in the boyfriend department. im not looking for co-dependency though. just maybe a best friend type boyfriend? i know, i know, alot of people are giving me hell about bryant. i can't help it. if only you could see the whole story. both sides. everything. one of my friends, who knows both of us told me today that there has to be a reason why we keep doing this. he can clearly see we're all about eachother. those were his exact words.it made me think. i thought all day. im still thinking...i guess we'll see what happens. i'm open minded about the situation. if he wants this to work, then we'll make it work. those were the last words i heard. if not, then i guess it's done. i cant do anything about it. all i know is that either way, ill be happy.

i have some new pictures ill be putting up soon. im changing my myspace around. ive been getting so many messages and requests for shoots, im going to make a photography myspace & my personal myspace, i think. idk yet. it's so nice out, im going outside to take more pictures :) check back soon! <3