IWANTTOGOHOMENOW.

i try to post a picture with every blog. it makes it more interesting, dont you think? i love winter. he's my pride and joy. the best cat, EVER.


i am so torn and lost for words. the whole situation confuses me and makes me just an emotional wreck. my feelings keep going up and down. i keep telling myself it's not good for me. then i keep telling myself that this could be the best thing in your life b/c if it works, its forever. the rest of your life. forever. god, i wish he knew. i just want to cry and cry. i could have him, but part of me knows he doesnt want me anymore. there is this amazing guy who would do anything for me, i keep pushing him away because i want this so bad & nothing else. i hope he finds a really good girl. he deserves it. i hope you know that im doing this for you. i am fighting for us. are you?

i'm still sick. its not getting better. it feels worse. i tried to get up and walk over to the bathroom today which is like 5 feet away, i thought i was going to pass out. i spent my day laying on the couch, watching america's next top model. every single episode. im a loser.

i honestly hate my life right now. you have no idea. i just want to curl up and cry.